Realisations
by Embarrassed-Elf
Summary: Telling his so-called 'family' was one thing. He just couldn't figure out how to tell his best friends. Especially the one it was all centred around. But maybe he didn't need to. Rated K because I'm kinda paranoid, yet don't think it's that bad.
1. Chapter 1

_**Warning: Wolfstar SLASH. If you don't like it, don't read it. **_

_**But please read it :D**_

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Sirius Orion Black was brave. He was from a family that had shunned him from the moment he chose to paint his walls gold and red when he was five, yet he still had the courage to wake up in the morning, knowing that someone would try to put him down.

But his life had become much harder when he went to Hogwarts. Here he had friends, three wonderful boys who were all so much better than his family. Three boys who had trusted him with their darkest secrets, their wildest fantasies. Three wonderful boys, one of who was, in Sirius' eyes, more than just wonderful.

That was where the troubles lay. Telling his family would only result in more scorn, but if he told his friends… that might result in losing the only thing he held close.

He stared at the dingy bathroom mirror. The handsome, dark-haired womanizer stared back. How could he do this? He had a reputation for being the lady's man, for having pulled more giggling girls into the broom closets than any other youth in the whole school, even though he was only fifth year. This… this would end all that for good.

Ever since he had come to the castle, his black hair, piercing grey eyes and carefree attitude had attracted girls. Hot girls, ugly girls, young girls and old girls alike had flocked to the new heartbreaker. They believed that because he was handsome, because he was a funny guy, he would love girls. Moony always laughed at his crowds, knowing he himself would never be surrounded by ladies.

Until that week when a kiss from a 'girlfriend' brought no more joy. The flirting felt empty, the so-called love flimsy. But the girls kept coming. Their passions kept flowing. But Remus always enjoyed his love games with the ladies he supposedly loved. They made Remus laugh. So Sirius continued to kiss, to tell them that he would always love one of them. And so they believed he would always love a girl.

That was when Sirius Black realised how wrong they were.

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It was harder than people made it out to be, Sirius pondered. He had been _that _close to telling James, when Remus had run in. The sight of the werewolf, hair tousled and tie loosened, had struck a chord in Sirius. He hadn't even realised he was staring until James broke the awkward silence with the ever-basic cough.

Then Sirius looked away, back at James, who gave him a questioning glance before turning to Remus. He said something about McGonagall finding Peter in a cheese-induced coma, but all Sirius heard was heavenly whisperings, and all he felt was a tingling in his stomach.

After Remus left again, presumably to visit Peter in the hospital wing, he fell back to reality with a thud, though he still retained the beautiful floating feeling.

That was when Sirius Black realised he loved Remus Lupin.

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**A/N: Yay! I have always seen these two together, and so I finally figured out an idea on how to get them to figure it out. Don't worry, I will pressure one of them until they realise that they do belong with one another.**

**Please Please Please Review guys!**

**-Aegneth**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**

**Moi: Sirius, do the disclaimer for me? Please?**

**Sirius: Who, me? I'm not doing any extra work. Are you serious?**

**Remus: *appears* No, you are. *disappears***

**Sirius: *bored voice* Aegneth, aka Embarrassed-Elf, does not own me, Moony, Prongs, Wormtail, or any other Hogwarts students. Happy now?**

**Moi: Thanks. Oh, and if I did, you would be alive.**

**Sirius: I DIE? WHEN? WHERE? HOW?**

**Moi: *shakes head and wanders off***

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**Here's chapter two! Yay!**

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Remus had almost lost it that morning. When he burst in on Sirius and James having a 'conversation' in an empty classroom, his stomach had clenched so tightly that he thought it never would have relaxed again. The sight of James talking to his Sirius. Wait. When had he started treating Sirius as his property?

Remus shook off the thoughts and continued walking to the hospital wing. He didn't love Sirius. He couldn' was the straightest of all of them, having slept with almost all the year and most of the years around them too. He was so straight that it would have taken a furnace and hammer to bend him.

So why did Remus feel…that possessiveness around him?

"Because he's yours." The small subconscious werewolf in the back of his head whispered, "He's yours and you should have him." But Sirius wasn't his. Sirius was his friend, **just **his friend. He had accepted him when very few people had, had been the one to convince James he was safe, not a danger to sleep near, not a danger to be friends with. Sirius was the reason Remus kept pushing on, through the pain and fear.

But Remus knew that he could never have what he truly wanted. He could never have this kind and beautiful boy, because who would want him? Who would want a scarred, cowardly werewolf? What straight person would want a gay teenager hanging on to them like a permanent sticking hex?

With that last depressing thought, Remus arrived at Peter's hospital bed and sat down, gazing moodily at the unconscious boy.

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Sirius all but ran to the hospital wing. He had decided, no, forced himself, to tell Moony first. He would be the hardest one to break it to. Who would want their friend to tell them that they had a **huge **crush on them? Moreover, who would want to tell their friend that they didn't return the feelings? Because Sirius was pretty sure that Remus didn't like him. Well, not in that way anyway.

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When Sirius Orion Black finally reached the dreaded haunts of Madam Pomfrey, he paused outside the doors. He was going to do it. The question was how.

For a minute, he stood outside, thinking. Then his more attention-seeking side kicked in. No-one had payed him enough attention in the last thirty seconds, so he shoved both the doors open like he had seen in a movie Lily had shown him **(AN: LotR anyone?) **and walked slowly inside.

It was empty except for the bed that held the still-in-a-coma-due-to-cheese-indulgence Peter, and Remus, sitting in an armchair watching Peter with a rather gloomy look on his bravery ebbing away fast, he moved towards Remus and sat on the arm of his chair, looking down at Peter too.

"I, uh, Remus, I, I have something to tell you." Remus nodded, but didn't answer him, choosing instead to stare at Pete's enlarged belly.

"It's hard to say, I guess, but you need to know. I'll tell James and Pete too, but I wanted to tell you first because, I don't really know. I just thought you'd aught to know first."

Remus nodded again, deep in thought.

"Remus, I'm… I'm…"

To this long pause Remus finally replied.

"How about you show me Sirius? Can you do that? That way you're more likely to do it, you always have a flair for dramatics.

Sirius nodded, and sighed. "Close your eyes Moony. Please."

The look on Remus' face was of utter bewilderment, and perhaps sadness, but he did as instructed. Sirius took a deep breath in. This was not the time to get cold feet. Either he did it now, or Remus would ask questions, and James or Peter would make it worse.

With that thought, he gathered himself up, all six feet of woman-magnet and black curly hair, and he did it.

He kissed Remus John Lupin.

And Remus John Lupin kissed him back.

* * *

"Get a room, lovebirds."

Right at that moment, James walked in.

Holding Lily Evans' hand.

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**A/N: Like it? Love it? Absolutely hate it?**

**Please review, it can be flames, cookies or mint humbugs, I don't care. Just press that little button and do it!**

**Aegneth, apparating out. *appears in Camp Half-Blood***


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